Couples Therapy: Surpassing Cheating?

Couples Therapy: Surpassing Cheating?

Cheating in a Relationship:  Can you overcome this?

I know you’re thinking cheating is a betrayal of the worst kind.  It’s a line you’d never cross and you would never put up with it. Cheating! Can you believe it?  Is it because you’re not good looking enough, sexy enough?  Or is it because you’re not having enough sex? What happened? Why would he/she do this to me?

These are all common questions one might ask if your partner has cheated on you. However, the reason why this has happened is not because you are less than or not good enough. Your partner chose to cheat instead of coping with the real issue at hand. The problem could be anywhere from a mid-life crises to because he/she has an addiction or even because his/her parents role modeled cheating. But it doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship.

Because cheating is of an intimate nature, we sometimes think and feel it is insurmountable.  However, it is important to realize that it is a symptom of something larger.  It is a way of dysfunctional way of coping like using drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, etc to bury an issue.  For some it’s a pattern of behavior and for others its a one time occurrence.  Either way, it can be extraordinarily painful and difficult to face.

There are so many confusing and complicated feelings that happen when it comes to cheating. Every couple is different. It’s important to consider your individual relationship and not to compare to others or be quick to decide what to do because you are hurt and angry. Take the time to get help and work through your emotions.  You both need to weigh the investment into the relationship, such as children and time committed, before deciding what to do.

Once cheating happens, it’s important for both people to seek professional help. The person who cheated needs to dig deep to figure out the “why” of cheating. The partner needs to grieve the betrayal as well as come to terms with what other issues are truly in the relationship. Both individual and couples counseling may be warranted.  Allow a qualified professional to help you to see if there is a way back to trust and a lasting relationship.

Dr. Scheckner has helped dozens of couples work their way back to a loving and trusting relationship.  Her training and experience can help you to work through your feelings and once again feel fulfilled with your life partner.

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